


A Way of Coping

by chopzoe



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mike POV, Smutty, i guess, implied eruri, very smutty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-10 23:53:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20144077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chopzoe/pseuds/chopzoe
Summary: (Excerpt from the text) "They started doing this after their first expedition. The day they returned, like on so many others back then, they came from a massacre, losing the majority of their old friends and bunkmates. He still remembers the overpowering smells of blood, days old sweat and dirt. Exhausted and defeated barely grown men and women trying to hide their tears. The shaking and sobbing in the men’s bath. He imagined it hadn’t been any different in the women’s. He didn’t know if he was Erwin’s first, but she was his. It was horrible, they too barely could hold in their crying the whole time during. Over time they found it helped, spending nights together like this now and then. They weren’t in love. It was simply a way of coping. He likes to think that way, that is."





	A Way of Coping

“She hates me.”

He smelled her guilt beneath the layers of her other scents – bergamot, soap, fresh sweat. Mike remembered the little woman’s stares, her brows furrowed slightly whenever Erwin was in vicinity, then her gaze flickered to him and she looked even more grim. He couldn’t blame her, but he knew there was more to that.

“I think it’s a front”, he argued. Erwin looked up, her blue eyes confused. “She tries to stay angry so her other feelings won’t break through”, he ended the sentence.

He based it of the strange scent that she sent off lately. Quite different from the usual distaste. A wild mixture – confusion, hurt, a weak kind of rage still, sure, but most of all, he could sense want. Levi wanted Erwin, there was no doubt. And she was pushing the feeling away. Trying.

Erwin seems to ponder this. “What other feelings exactly?”

“Do I really have to give you the answer?”

At this there was silence. Erwin played absently with the pen, tracing the wooden hold, flipping it and tapping the table top. She looked even more confused, but Mike could see the thought that managed to break through it, if only for a fraction of a second.

Mike knew. Levi wasn’t the only one suppressing, he witnessed the change in Erwin’s behaviour as well. Erwin had never been this obsessed with a person before. A thug. It wasn’t simply a strategical move from her. Mike knew there was – is – more behind it than securing that talent.

And he didn’t know whether he is bothered by that knowledge or not. After all, they never demanded something from each other. Every now and then during silent nights, they both shared a bed, but it wasn’t binding at all. If one of them wished to start a relationship, they could. In a way, he didn’t understand, Mike was even glad Erwin started to feel something for their new member.

“I should go, got to finish some work.” Mike turned to leave, at the door he looked back at Erwin, but she didn’t react.

** **

** _-A few months later-_ **

It was night time when the door to his room opened. He lay in bed, drowsy, one arm folded under his head, the other on his stomach. He didn’t have to lift his head to see that it was Erwin. He opened one eye, lifted an eyebrow. The woman looked back at him, mimicking the eyebrow-lift. “Did I wake you?”

“No, didn’t think you would come.” She didn’t in months, actually.

“Do you want me to go again?”

He closed his eyes, shrugging. “It’s fine.”

After a short while, the door closed and he heard Erwin step closer. She stopped at his head side, made some ruffling sounds that told Mike she was starting taking her clothes off. It’s one of those nights, he realised. When she would come to his bed, mostly while he was still sluggish from sleep and surprise him with her presence. They then would sleep with each other. Sometimes slow and soft, sometimes rough. Sometimes more than once. Sometimes Erwin would stay until morning. It all varied from time to time, depending on their mood and the circumstances, really.

This time something felt different, though.

He got a waft of air when she undid her hair and it fell over her shoulders. With the air there was a different kind of scent, though not unknown to Mike. He decided to ignore it for now, it’s not uncommon after all. During training they tend to catch all sorts of smells, and during lunch time they usually all smell after each other and it becomes difficult for Mike, separating them all.

He could sense her standing still and watching him, but didn’t open his eyes or move. “Why did you stop?”, he mumbled.

“Finish it yourself,” she said, smoothly but with a tint of an order. The spirit of a leader doesn’t vanish in the bedroom, he thought to himself.

He opened his eyes, slowly sitting up and looking up at her. Her face didn’t bore a smile, which surprised him a bit. He spread his legs a bit, so she could fit in between, and placed his hands firmly but gentle on her waist, guiding her closer. She had slowly got out of her jacket and then opened her shirt and slid it off, leaving her still almost fully clothed. He decided not to make a fuss about it. Because he wasn’t in a mood or because he simply wanted her naked, he didn’t care enough to think about it. Her breasts were covered, so he cared for that first, moving on with her pants, unbuttoning and pushing them down. They slid to the floor and she stepped out, sending them aside with a slow kick. Now only her underwear remained, but she gripped his chin and lifted his head up, stopping him. Her bright blue gaze gave nothing away as ever, her lips an unreadable line.

“Lie down.”

He complied, to have her kneeling between his legs and stroking and massaging him through his shorts, then tugging him free. She straight forward went on to grip and take him into her mouth, sucking him hard. He tried his best not to thrust up into the warm wetness, it’s been so long since she last did that, but Erwin probably wouldn’t let him anyway, pinning him down on the edge of the bed. For a while, he listened to the wet sucking sounds, then reached out and placed a hand on her head, not pushing, running his fingers through the blonde strands. When she suddenly slowed down and drew away, he was throbbing and slowly growing impatient, but feeling it would have to wait as he sat up again, meeting her attentive gaze from the floor.

“So you changed your mind on doing it quick and then leaving again.”

She simply stood wordlessly, taking off her underwear and stepping in between his legs. She ran her hands over his shoulders and gripped his chin again, stroking the stubble with her thumb. She didn’t speak again, but bowed down and met his lips with hers, planting shallow, short kisses on his mouth. He only felt himself throbbing again in response. So he grunted and slid his palms over her skin, then let one diving her front.

He slightly brushed his fingertips between her legs to feel her flesh. They came off slick. He rubbed them together as if to test her wetness, then putting them back again with more pressure, giving her a few rubs. Erwin groaned against his mouth and pushed him on the bed, following closely without breaking the kiss. He lay down on the mattress, still fingering her, while she mounted him. He got a waft of her hair again when it swung down to the side of his head. She broke away, going for his neck, sucking on the skin and going further down. He grunted again when she reached for his shaft, letting his fingers leave her, letting her replace them with his length. She slid him inside her with one stroke, filling her up all the way and releasing him again, only to repeat and eventually start fucking him in a quick pace. The room filled with breathless pants broken by silent sighs and moans once in a while.

They started doing this after their first expedition. The day they returned, like on so many others back then, they came from a massacre, losing the majority of their old friends and bunkmates. He still remembers the overpowering smells of blood, days old sweat and dirt. Exhausted and defeated barely grown men and women trying to hide their tears. The shaking and sobbing in the men’s bath. He imagined it hadn’t been any different in the women’s. He didn’t know if he was Erwin’s first, but she was his. It was horrible, they too barely could hold in their crying the whole time during. Over time they found it helped, spending nights together like this now and then. They weren’t in love. It was simply a way of coping. He likes to think that way, that is.

Instinctively, they shifted positions and he was on top of her. She was clinging to him, now shaking with pleasure, almost crying out when he pushed back inside but didn’t thrust. He wanted to, so badly, but now he couldn’t but press his nose against Erwin’s neck, shoulder, anywhere he could reach. He needed to find the source of this scent. Absently, he began moving inside her again, his hips rocked slowly, leaving the woman gasping and pleading. He snapped out of it and began thrusting harder, feeling himself getting closer as he pounded her.

When she finally clenched around him, it jolted through him, leaving him gritting his teeth to not come inside her instantly. He daringly gave her a few more strokes, then pulled out hastily, cupping his hand around his tip and coming into his hand with a sigh.

Erwin watched him fishing for a kerchief and cleaning the mess from his hand. The woman breathed for a few seconds and rolled to the side, giving him enough space to lay down beside her. She was so still that he thought for a moment she fell asleep. When he was done wiping himself, he carefully pressed against her back, spooning her. He wondered if he should address it, putting his arm around her, having the owner of the scent found out.

“You smell of Levi.”

Erwin sighed, it was more of a soft breathing out than a sigh. “She came to my office and we spoke and drank a bit.” Her voice was drowsy.

“The story doesn’t stop there, I believe,” he whispered.

Erwin was quiet for a long time.

“You don’t have to tell me. I just never smelled her on you this intense, on anyone, to be fair. That’s all.”

After he finished talking and waited for her to answer, he soon realised Erwin drowsed off already. He got up and searched for the blanket, pulling it over her. He sat there, watching her relaxed face for a bit then stood and started dressing. He thought of writing a note just in case, so he did, slipping the paper in his pocket. He let the door softly shut closed and began wandering. With a bit of luck he could catch her, knowing her odd sleeping pattern.

-.-.-.-.-

He did, pausing at the threshold of the kitchen and eying the small figure with confusion as she swiftly cleaned every surface, standing on tiptoe to reach the upper places. He could hear a swear and then she stood still, turning around almost instantly. “What the fuck? Did you watch me? Fucking creep.”

Unimpressed, he said: “Normal people usually don’t clean the kitchen in the middle of the night.”

“What I do or don’t do is my goddamn business, so will you tell me why you stalk other people in the middle of the night?”

He opened his mouth and watched the sour expression on the small black-haired woman’s face, hesitating. /Does she know? Well, I have to tell her if not./

“It’s about Erwin,” he said.

The frown deepened. But she refrained from insulting him. /Yet…/ “What? What happened?”

He couldn’t tell her and look her in the face at the same time. He reached into his pocket and stepped over to her. He gave Levi the note, which she eyed suspiciously. He expected her to be annoyed and snap it from his hand, but her fingers were almost careful when she took it. Right as he wondered whether he should leave her, she flipped the note open and read it. Her reaction was everything Mike didn’t anticipate.

She simply softened her face and said: “She told me that already, Idiot.”

“You knew?” He was relieved.

Levi looked up and nodded. “Yeah. And I’m actually glad you are there for her, believe it or not. For giving her a way to cope with all this shit.”

He nodded as well, looking relieved and chuckling when Levi screw up her face. “Are you done cleaning? I could help you if you want.”

She threw the rag for him to catch and scoffed, turning around. “Fine. Hoist me on your shoulders, but don’t you dare let me fall off.”

He did and let the small woman gladly command him, while she was sitting on his shoulders, wiping the cabinet's upper shelves until the early hours.


End file.
